Activities
Check-insThis is 15 minutes per day that is used to briefly communicate about the status of the relationship. It is suggested that it includes: a 30-second hug, 8-second kiss, 11 seconds of eye gazing and questions to elicit more emotional communication and feedback. This is also the time to request another meeting if needed to process bigger issues. It is also time to have fun and enjoy each others company. Some questions that could be asked are: What have I done today to help the relationship? hinder the relationship? Is there anything you need me to know or understand? |
Body Scan MeditationThis exercise is to retrain your brain and nervous system that you can handle conflict and will do well. We also want to calm down the amygdala. I suggest going to YouTube.com and finding one that will work for you. Please try to do this daily or at least once a week. An example includes: |
Five Love Languages QuizPlease complete this quiz here and we will review in session. |
Books I Recommend
40 Days and 40 Nights: Taking Time Out for Self-Discovery
Guiding you on the journey through writing it down this book helps waylay anxiety about what to write next.
Attached: Are you Anxious, Avoidant or Secure? How the science of adult attachment can help you find – and keep – love
Learn what your attachment style is and how to work with it and others.
Buddha’s Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom
Buddha’s Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom
A layperson's explanation of neuroscience and mindfulness. A quick yet essential read.
Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life
For those with vaginas, a book to release all the cultural baggage and damage.
Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
And the follow through to implement the skills and increase understanding. Some of the best conversation questions I have ever read or experienced.
Empathipedia: Healing for Empaths and Highly Sensitive Persons
An Oregonian author plus a great reminder of how to take care of yourself if you are empathic or highly sensitive to others.
Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work and in Life One Conversation at a Time
Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work and in Life One Conversation at a Time
An oldie but goodie. Gain skills to have difficult conversations to increase assertiveness and communication.
Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
Strengthen and deepen your relationships with revelatory practical exercises.
Hold Me Tight: Your Guide to the Most Successful Approach to Building Loving Relationships
Hold Me Tight: Your Guide to the Most Successful Approach to Building Loving Relationships
Starting the conversations to increase intimacy.
Hot Sex: Over 200 Things You Can Try Tonight!
Let's talk about sex baby! A hipper version of the Joy of Sex this book is great to start the conversation about sexual activities.
How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving
How to Be an Adult in Relationships explores five hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a key role in our relationships throughout life.
Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships
A primer for starting the journey of polyamory and/or non-monogamy.
Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder
Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder
A perfect book for dealing with difficult loved ones in your life. Very helpful for learning and setting boundaries.
The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
The primary book for the quiz. Reading this will explain each love language further.
The Grief Recovery Handbook, 20th Anniversary Expanded Edition: The Action Program for Moving Beyond Death, Divorce, and Other Losses including Health, Career, and Faith
The Grief Recovery Handbook, 20th Anniversary Expanded Edition: The Action Program for Moving Beyond Death, Divorce, and Other Losses including Health, Career, and Faith
The plan and steps to help process grief and recover from the journey.
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert
A great starting place to increase skills as a couple.
The Story Factor: Inspiration, Influence, and Persuasion through the Art of Storytelling
Increase your ability to connect with others and have them hear what you are truly trying to say.
Videos I Recommend
| Empathy by Brene Brown | The Four Horsemen by The Gottman Foundation |
| Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson | The Power of Vulnerability by Brene Brown |
| Body Scan Meditation by Jon Kabat Zinn |
